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Friday 4 November 2016

Writing - Narrative Story - Miana's bad day at the beach

Miana’s bad day at the beach

One morning Miana woke up with a lot of excitement and passion. She jumped on her bed side to side. BANG! BANG! went Miana jumping. She got her togs and wore it. Miana’s mum promised her that they would go to the beach. Miana woke up her mum. She shouted “Mum Mum wake up”. Miana’s mum woke up not knowing why Miana is wearing her swimming togs. Miana’s mum said “Miana why are you wearing your swimming togs”. Miana said “remember you promised me that we would go to the beach”. Miana’s mum said I don’t remember dear. Miana said “you're tricking me right”. Mum said “no I am not”. Miana said “remember you said if I wash the dishes and do the washing which I did yesterday you promised that you would take me to Maraetai Beach. Mum said “oh yeah I’m so sorry dear I will got and get ready”. Miana’s mum got ready without brushing her teeth. Miana got more excited and was very eager. This was Miana’s number one habit to do. She couldn’t wait to go and swim in the beach. Mum got ready and they both hopped into the car ready to go. Bang! shut both of their doors.


RRRRRMM went the car straight down the road . Miana was just so excited. Miana put her hand out of the car and waved her hand side to side. Miana said to herself “man I can’t wait to swim in the beach”. Miana said in a raucous voice “are we there yet, are we there yet”. Mum said “yes just a few more minutes until we are there”. Miana clapped her hands and smiled at her mum. Miana was just imagining how it would be at the beach.


They got there. Miana saw all the kids swimming and playing. She was very jealous. She just wanted to hop out of the car and jump into the water. Miana said “wow it is very packed”. As mum parked the car and stopped the engines of the car Miana didn’t wait she hopped out and went straight away and jumped into the sea. Mum shouted “Miana come here”. Miana didn’t listen. Mum howled again “Miana come here”. Mum was very enraged at Miana. .Miana jumped into the water and started swimming. Mum ran and saw Miana already swimming. Mum ignored it, and she sat down under a tall tree surrounded with a lot of people. Miana’s mum shouted to Miana “only swim where I can see you and don’t swim near the deep side. Mum was worried about Miana.




Miana was very bored. She wanted to play with something which she usually does when she comes to the beach. She saw a beach ball that was very far from her. Miana dashed to the ball. As she was swimming she started to get lower than then the sea. As Miana was swimming she felt a big rock and dripped over it. Miana dripped over the rock and started drowning. Miana screamed to death. Miana shouted “mum help help”. Miana’s mum couldn’t hear anything. Miana tried to get some breathe, but no air came. She was under the water. Miana tried to doggy paddle to get up but she couldn’t. Miana was panicking. She shouted again “Help me! Save me! Miana waved her hands like a maniac. Miana prayed to god in her head to help her live. Miana jumped and cathed a small breath and went back down. Miana waved her hands again.


Miana’s mum tried to see where Miana was. She couldn’t see her. She was very concerned. Mum ran next to the see to get a better look. She stall didn’t see Miana. Mum saw a hand waving. She knew it was Miana because of the bracelet she was wearing. Mum was panicking. She sprinted to the life guard and said in a panicking voice“my daughter is drowning can you please help me save her”. The life guard called 91C4D on his walkie talkie calling  other life guards to come and help. The lifeguard team got their boats and rushed to rescue Miana. Miana’s mum went with the lifeguard’s. They all went to Miana. Miana could see a boat coming, and she knew it was coming to rescue her. Miana catched a breathe again and went back. As the lifeguards got to Miana one lifeguard clutched Miana to the boa. Miana`said to herself“thank god”. Miana’s mum grabbed Miana and hugged her. They all went back.



Miana’s mum said to the lifeguards “thank you for your help”. Miana said to her mum “it was all my fought I could of listen to you”. Mum said “it’s okay at least your stall alive, lets forget this and have a happy day”. Miana and her mum went back home and backed them delicious food. Miana looked at her mum and she smiled at her.

L.I To plan and write a narrative within a week.

For Te Ika A Maui group's writing task we had to write a narrative. We had think about what we learn about a narrative. This was really fun. I learnt what each paragraph needs which is a Topic Sentence which is the first sentence in a paragraph you need events explained and the ending of the paragraph. This called TEE. I was a bit struggling on thinking what I should write about because there were lots of topics that I wanted to write about. I think for next I should include more interesting words so when people read they can read more of the story.

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